Monday, April 25, 2011

Griffin's First Big Motorcycle Ride

Griffin and Gumpy have had a few motorcycle rides around the neighborhood in the past. Last Saturday was his first ride out on the open road :) Here are some pictures of their first (of many, I'm sure) adventures on 2 wheels...

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Easter Eggs at Papa and Nancy's House 2011

This is our annual Easter tradition with Shane's dad and step-mom.

master egg decorators!
Cassandra :)
waiting patiently (or not so)
Nancy, Allison and Brandon
it's getting really pink!
Julie and Brandon
Alyssa moved on to green ;)
Time for baskets!
Griffin got mini-transformers and a ton of candy
cute little creepy skeletons dressed up in easter outfits
Everyone had a great time coloring eggs and riding the quad, playing in the yard and getting their easter basket. Nancy made us delicious shredded chicken tacos and all sorts of snacks too.

Friday, April 8, 2011


I debated with myself for a long time about blogging about weight. it's such a touchy subject for most of us. I didn't want anyone to feel bad or weird with anything I had to say about weight but I figure that in the long run, if something I say helps someone than that is more important to me than the possible discomfort I may cause someone else.

We are measured by so many things in life. our age, our IQ and sadly...our weight. I have never felt that a person's worth is measured by their weight but I know that when we are overweight we (meaning I) measure our own self worth by the number on the scale. as my number went worth went down. in my eyes anyway. I gave up on myself in many ways for all the wrong reasons.

In august 2009 I took a big step. I joined Weight Watchers (ww) because I had to do something. there were yo yo diets prior to that but I didn't keep it off. I can make excuses but the long and the short of it was that I had residual baby weight on x4 plus, after much soul searching, I came to grips with the fact I am an emotional eater. WW opened my eyes to that through one of the best meetings ever. You can't successfully lose weight and keep it off if you don't know how you got there in the first place.

What I decided in august 09 was that I had reached the limit of what I could take. Shane had been in the hospital in April 09 with the blood clots in his lungs, legs and was diagnosed with a form of lupus. A few months later I realized I needed to do something to help myself be healthier. I had finally hit rock bottom at a weight I had not been before. I was tired of being tired, having foot and knee pain, feeling blobby and ugly and a terrible mom. I joined ww and I have not looked back. 90 lbs have gone and not only did I lose 90 lbs of fat...I lost 90 lbs of baggage in my head. I used to eat when I was sad, when I was stressed, I ate to be complacent and not be bitchy. I ate to subdue something I didn't want to feel. now don't get me wrong, I have a great life. I always have. I have the man I always wanted, the kids I always wanted, the house I always wanted, the friends I always wanted and the family I always wanted. I just didn't have the me I always wanted. Somewhere along the way I decided that everyone else was more important. I don't think that was wrong, I just needed to make myself important too. I didn't want to be selfish or vain. I didn't want to be self absorbed. I wanted to be the best mom, the best wife, the best daughter, the best friend, the best sister, the best everything to everyone and I believed if I could accomplish all of that...I would be happy with myself.

Wow. That's a lot of pressure. Self induced pressure, but still!
So when I felt I wasn't any of those things to anyone..I ate.

My mom tried to help me. Shane tried to help me. Some brands of help made me feel worse. Some didn't. The problem was I didn't try to help me. Until I went to ww.

So I realized why I ate. For starters, I realized that I didn't feel full until the plate was empty. I learned why I felt that way. I wrote a lot about what I ate. I read stuff online. I realized that it is ok to feel what you feel even if it isn't popular with everyone around you. I had to learn to cope with my feelings without digging into a 3 lb box of cheez its and eating my way out. It was hard, I was an emotional roller coaster but I wouldn't go back or give up. poor Shane heard me cry and yell and be a complete and utter bitch. That was something, I am pleased so say, he wasn't used to. But I had to learn to feel things and express them rather than eating them away. He was patient. The kids were patient. Everyone was patient. And then great things happened. It started coming off 3, 4, even 5 lbs at a time.

I learned a lot on the way. I had a lot of support. I even started exercising. Thanks to those Sookie Stackhouse novels, I rode that exercise bike like it was a rocket ;) thanks to all the encouragement I kept going. 30 lbs down, 50 lbs down, 75, 86....90. gone. I can't believe how it has gone and where I still need to be. almost 30 lbs left to go but I can do it. I will do it. because I am worth it and because I know I don't have to be perfect. I just have to be me and do my best and everyone will love me the way I am. like they always have but I didn't love myself. there is no catch. there are no strings. nobody here who truly matters will scoff if my house isn't spotless like it was (hey, it's not dirty either!) or if I forget little things because I went to the gym or I was looking up healthy recipes online. there are other measureable things that mean more to my family like the fact I can go down the slides at the park with my kids. I can run. I will never forget my first "ah-ha!" moment at Disneyland in December 09, only 35-40 lbs gone but I could fit into the rides with 2 of my kids. TWO! I sat in the rocket ride in tomorrowland with tears flowing because I had savannah and griffin in the rocket with me. I didn't have to turn sideways to go through the turnstiles anymore. Things have only gotten better and better along the way.

I am very lucky because all matter what the scale said I had a husband who loved me. he told me I was beautiful and he wanted me every day. he never once said an unkind word to me no matter what I told myself. I'm not saying he's not enjoying the new me ;) but I know in the deepest parts of my heart that he loves me no matter what. That is pretty amazing to me considering all the changes I went through with myself. Shane stayed steady and constant while I was (at times) a hot mess.

So yes, I've made big changes but they are positive ones. I could not have done it without the love, support and encouragement of my family. The weight comes off slower now. I have to try harder. I had to start exercising more. I do have days were I am frustrated because I want to be "done" with the loss and focus on maintaining. I will get there and when I do all the frustration will have been worth it. I am truly blessed :)

Tuesday, April 5, 2011


We had such a great spring break! The kids have been back to school for 2 weeks now. We are doing fine, back into the swing of things and counting down to summer break! Approximately 52 days in case you are wondering :)

So a lot has gone on, I have some pics to load up. A few are from our day in Tombstone.

Next are just a few random kid pics :)

The next couple are from Alyssa's playdate with her BFF and BFF's lil sister :)

 Alyssa was dressed up as Hannah Montana, T was a ballerina and H was a cowgirl ;)
Take that peeps!

Next is a couple of shots of my first tattoo :) yes, i got a tattoo. I've wanted one for years now so Shane told me for my birthday he was getting me one. Now, poor man has offered to do this 2 years in a row and I chicken out. This year I did not! I found a great tattoo shop, loved my tattoo artist :) and can't wait to get another one! Yes, seriously! Shane got one too, pics will follow soon!

 The light was not great in the computer room but it's a Griffin. He's blue with purple, yellow, green and a bit of red.