Saturday, August 30, 2008

discussions with little boys...........

so, conversations with boys

4 year old boys

i'm on the couch, reading. a short break. griffin comes to the couch and this is our discussion...

griffin: momma, can i have a pepsi?
me: no, you already had one
griffin: fine, i don't love you
me: so you only love me if i give you pepsi?
griffin: yes
me: sad face
griffin (rolling his eyes): fine momma, i do love you all the time but sometimes you get inside my head and you drive me crazy

so there you have it.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Do I remember...

do i remember...........

as the birthday rush is upon me starting in september, i always look back in astonishment at the changes that happen in that short year. griffin will be 5 on september 24th. i remember finding out he was coming like it was yesterday. in december 2002 my grandma passed away. in my grief i was very absent minded and that led to a less than perfect b.c. pill schedule for me. i remember vividly cleaning the house in early february and thinking "hmmmmm am i late?" i took a test, fully knowing it would be negative because there was no way that could happen....we werent' planning on number 3 until that summer or so. took all of 2 seconds to see 2 pink lines!

i remember calling shane on his cell phone........"are you driving? pull over, pull over, i have something to tell you" i remember his chuckle, "it's great news baby, everything will be fine" because everyone knows, that is what shane always says to me when i am hysterical.

i remember thinking my grandma was probably laughing her ass off from heaven. and then i was sad knowing our baby would never know my grandma.

i remember knowing griffin was a boy before the ultrasound told me so. i remember being so sick for so long and feeling such relief when i knew it was close to him coming to be a part of our family. i remember arriving at the hospital after several failed attempts. i remember dr. villa coming to the hospital on his day off to deliver griffin. i remember the jokes he made that made me laugh so hard that everyone in the room yelled at me to stop so i didn't "shoot that baby across the room"

i remember it was cold outside and raining, strange for september. we had come to the hospital a little after 2:00 pm and he was born just after 8:00. i remember the nurse taking him from me because he wasn't breathing right and him in the NICU for 5 days. probably the worst 5 days i had experienced since my grandma died. the nurses told me dr. villa came to check on griffin every day. i remember being their one of the times they needed to find a vein for his IV and how helpless i felt and how many times the poked him and how much he wimpered. i remember finally telling them to stop and get kevin the neonatal guy. they put an iv in griffin's head. dr. villa called him my "unicorn" it wasn't funny until later.

i remember leaving the hospital without him.

i remember bringing him home.

was he the easiest baby? nope. he is still the most challenging of the 4. he makes me question a lot about myself some days. but he is also very loving. very affectionate. very emotional. he's at that difficult age for males...2 to 65. he's turning into such a little boy now. he is protective of his sisters. he is watchful over alyssa. he enjoys "man time" with his dad or his gumpy or papa. he loves tractors and pirates but he'll play polly pocket too.

some days i look at him and i see shane. some days i see a mini monster. some days i see the jim carrey side of him. and some days...

i see my unicorn.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

random thoughts

ahhhh yes, the joy of random thoughts. do i feel more or less random as i get older? hard to tell. probably more random. my friend jewells and i love the fact we can have a conversation with each other and have it be a series of random thoughts connected only by short breaths inbetween. we can talk about husbands one min, waxing the next, kids' pooping habits and our mothers. maybe it's because we've been friends for 20+ years or maybe we cosmically love the fact that we "get" each others random ramblings so well.

so my random thoughts for today...

*how much i hate the kids having to go to school

*how much i do love the peace and security of nighttime knowing everyone is safe in their bed

*when i watch the equestrian sports on the olympics i remember when i wanted to do that myself

*that having some hot sex 2 nights in a row basically guarantees you WON'T get it for a 3rd night in a matter how early the kids fall asleep

*realizing i must go to costco this week and it will be 105 degrees again

*realizing it will be 100 degrees until october most likely

*there are 7 months until my disneyland trip

*i need to go back to weight watchers

*i hate my husband some days because he made his vasectomy consultation appt

*i think of our angel baby every day

*i am already christmas shopping in my head

*alyssa's curls make me smile

*alyssa rocking out to Maroon 5 music makes me laugh

*the fact that my girls get sweat thighs over the jonas brothers makes me laugh and makes shane psychotic

i guess that's enough random thoughts for today!

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Griffin in Preschool

who knew a year would make such a difference?

this time last year we tried preschool for griffin and whoa momma, he wanted nothing to do with it!

this year is very different, he is loving it! he goes 3 days a week and is just having a blast. he is working on writing his name. he made an apple today and a spider made of polka dots. he brought me the sweetest framable poem about his first day of school and has his handprint on it. he has 4 other boys in his class and 3 girls. it's nice to see him have other boys around since he is living in such a hothouse of female emotion here.

so daily he asks to have his hair done w/ gel and his cologne on for school. it's too cute.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Sunday School teacher...who, ME?

so....i was asked by one of the youth group ladies to teach sunday school. even our priest mentioned it to me. i told him while i was interested, i didn't feel qualified. he said if i was breathing and had a pulse i was qualified. cool. so today we have our sunday school (SS) meeting to go over stuff, meet our assistants. get our book, see our classroom, etc.

ok....can i really do this? i am talking this is heavy duty stuff to me. it's like being a real teacher. lesson plans, stories, verses, crafts, experiments, etc. i mean, i am totally excited but totally scared i am going to suck at this. luckily i have the pre k/kinder class so they won't be too judgemental but still!

i am trying to think why this is getting to me. i think because when i was forced to go to religious instruction classes (for some reason catholics didn't call it sunday school where i was) it was dry, boring, unfriendly. not fun. like homework. in a sterile environment. it was painful to go. i felt out of place, odd. alone. kinda like i did in church. so here i am all these years later, going to church willingly. volunteering willingly. TEACHING SS for crying out loud! i guess for me, i want the kids to have the experience i DIDN'T have. feel warmth, feel welcome, feel happy. i guess i am afraid to screw it up. have some poor kindergartener say "i don't ever want to go back to SS cuz miss susan sucked as a teacher"

so i gotta give it my best shot and hope i do well. maybe even better than just "well" maybe...fantastic.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

and so it begins....

well here we are, doing a blog. better late than never i suppose? who will read this? i don't exactly know but we'll try it for awhile and see how we do!

and so we have survived our first week of school. it went fairly smoothly. the girls insisted on riding the bus to and from school the first day. they chose matching outfits. cute as buttons, i think. savannah had a bit of a hard time with being tired. she's in 1st grade and it was her first time going all day. she was in bed, asleep at 8:05 that night. unheard of for her! she ended up sick the next two days. a fever, viral infection. she went back on thursday and got all caught up. she was happy to have her friend britlyn in her class and sitting next to her.

cassandra is in 3rd grade. her teacher is a man. she seems to like him very much. he has a pet snake in the classroom. i'm glad i'm not in there every day. she is doing well reading, catching up on her math review. her teacher is teaching the whole class how to play chess. this should be interesting.

griffin starts preschool on august 6th. it is for 2.5 hours. he seems excited. i hope so, he was a preschool dropout last year! he has to make it this year as he starts kinder next year. he turns 5 in september. i just don't know where the time has gone.
ya, i still cry every time they go back to school. call me crazy, i love to have them home with me. i love to play, do things together. i love to hear them play together, sing together, laugh together. even argue. they work it out, they love each other. at the end of the day they would rather be together playing than anywhere else.

alyssa is standing and cruising while holding the furniture. she's talking more. her new thing is to get a hold of something she shouldn't have, sees you coming to take it from her, screams bloody murder as you approach. it's precious. no, really.